Don't get excited. I'm not about to announce MY pregnancy. I'm about to discuss my sister's. Yup. You read me right. She called to tell me today that she was pregnant. Needless to say, she is not excited...
Let's have some background information....
My sister moved to North Dakota about 3 months ago. Her "new" boyfriend lived there, and worked as a pipeline driver for the oil/gas company she leased for. She introduced us to him back in September. He seems nice. He's young. But he has a job, and can take care of himself (a HUGE plus when it comes to men the sister dates!!). He also has a 5 year old daughter who lives in Alaska. Sister said she was in love with boyfriend, and that she could see herself marrying him. UMMM, EXCUSE ME? My sister has NEVER EVER EVER wanted to get married. She has never wanted children. This life changing philosophy was quite shocking, but it made me happy. So, Chris and I spent a fun weekend hosting the happy couple and showing off Tulsa.
Fast-forward to last Thursday......
I received a text from the boyfriend telling me he had something to show me. It was sister's engagement ring. He planned on asking her on NYE, however, he was afraid she had overheard him talking to his buddy about it, so he was pushing it back to her birthday (February). He then told me she was pregnant. Insert stomach dropping and heart stopping. I texted him back saying "excuse me?" He proceeded to tell me he was joking, and that they truly wanted to wait until I got pregnant. Well, thanks for taking my feelings into consideration...
Now jump to today.....
Sister calls me on her way to work, completely upset. She's mad. She's scared. She says she's moving home....because... She's pregnant. She doesn't know what to tell my parents. She thinks my mom will be more upset than my dad (keep dreaming, sister). She says that boyfriend told her they should go get married now. Sister said NO. She told me she thought they may get married someday, but she wasn't ready. I was the good big sister, and told her congrats, and that she shouldn't get too upset now. I also lectured her on responsibility, and asked why she never thought preventative measures were necessary. When I got off the phone, I felt awful. My sister will be 30 in February. She is not like me or my friends. She's still a baby. She can't take care of a dog. How is she supposed to take care of a baby? I hate this for her. I hate that I also have selfish reasons for not wanting her to be pregnant. I'm the first born child. I'm supposed to have the first born grandchild, at least on my side (Chris is the youngest, and already has 2 nephews). I, selfishly, am upset that that title won't go to my baby. I know I should happy. And I know I will get there. I also know how my Aunt Jackie must have felt when my mom, who got married a year after her, got pregnant first. I've been reassured by many friends, that are first borns, that my feelings are ok. I think I'm just scared for my little baby sister. We are 13 months apart, but when you've met us both, you would think it was 13 years. Our parents pushed responsibility and self-control on me. They babied Sister. I don't blame them. They lost our sister, Tessa, after 3 days of life. She was the baby, 13 months younger than Sister. They also miscarried a boy when I was 9. They so wanted another baby, but never got the chance. So Sister received so much attention. I was certainly not neglected, please don't think that. I love both my parents, and I don't regret how I treated differently from Sister, in fact, I'm much happier that I was raised my way, as opposed to Sister's way. But I'm part of the problem. I've babied her too. Because I still look at this girl, on the cusp of her 30s, as a baby.
Please say a prayer for my family. This is going to get super ugly before it gets pretty. My mother dislikes the boyfriend. My father seems to be ok with him, but his unmarried, baby girl is about to break his heart.
Thanks for reading, and hopefully, not thinking too badly of me. I know if a few months, I'll be a happy, excited, soon-to-be aunt. I want to be excited! I want to shower a baby with all sorts of love! It will come, won't it?
Later, loves.
No comments:
Post a Comment